Some things are set Straight

Friday 28th November

Opening with the most unusual music video of Neville Ashworth singing ‘Go West’ with Elliot as one of his backing singers, this Friday episode of Hollyoaks sets itself up to be a blinder.

Attempting to convey to its audience what Thursday’s episode was about and the continuing storyline into Friday’s episode (Hollyoaks follwing on a storyline without a four month break?… Are you serious?) Hollyoaks manages to set the tone for how ridiculous it is to have to decide the sexuality of a watering hole and also, the difficulty posed to landlords over suiting the needs of all their punters.

Also, Hollyoaks manages to provide some light relief in the programme, contrasting with the seriousness of the T&T issue (Tony and Theresa).

The T and T story is progressing at an alarming and heartbreaking rate.

The HH is heartbroken at the image of a distraught and paranoid Batman (Tones).

No longer saving women from derelict churches, Robin (Dom) deserting him for two wasters (Ste and Justin), Batman is a broken man.

Shut your eyes and feel it

Thursday 27th November

In a true Hollyoaks example of how to come out of the closet, Neville (new owner of The Dog, now named The Jolly Roger) and co. embrace their new-found sexuality and pledge The Jolly Roger to be ‘officially a gay pub’.

Encouraging Neville to ‘shut your eyes and feel it’, Elliot and neville swing their lifeless arms around to the musical sounds of Kylie Minogue.

Caught by Cindy (is she living in the pub? she seems to appear from eery nook and cranny), Suzanne and Hannah, Neville declares that he has been too closed and is opening his eyes to new experiences.

The HH is enjoying the bizarre concept of Hollyoaks comparing one’s sexual preferences to whether they decide to eat meat or veg. Neville demonstrates this perfectly, when attempting to understand bisexuality states:

“it’s like being a veggie and occassionally having meat”

Brilliant. Why not relate how one choses their partners to what food they decide to buy at the supermarket?

It certainly simplifies it.

Batman leaves his Batmobile at home

Monday 24th November

It is difficult to know where to start with this episode.

In the typical ‘Oaks version of the calm before the storm (Hollyoaks Later is only 3 and 1/2 hours away from lift-off) do we first mention that our in-house Batman (Tony H) has gone off the rails or do we mention that our disappearing bad-boy Niall IS BACK?!

Batman has gone off the rails.

Leaving his batmobile (his moralistic conscience) our Batman (Tony Hutchinson) leaves a desperate and hopeful Jacqui cooking for him at the McQueens and parties-it-up Tony-stylee with Russ and Cindy at a school disco night at The Loft, with Russ.

Alas. Dear old, reliable Tony had a few options he could have taken here. If only the HH advisor was sitting on his shoulder. We’d have been happy to help and provide these alternatives:

a) go to the McQueens, chat and eat with Jacqui, make up and be merry.

b) go home to Hutchinson Manor and settle down to Newsnight with a bottle of Merlot

c) go home BY YOURSELF after getting totally trolleyed at The Loft

But Tony is on a mission. To forget the past year and the McQueen mess in which he had been involved.

And that mission involved a young girl by the name of Theresa.

To the trained Hollyoaks eye, trouble is sticking out like giraffe in a field of cows.

This young girl looks very young indeed.

But the view from Batman’s beer goggles is a little more hazy. Off to Hutchinson Manor they both go.

It’s a shame that after 13 years of living in Hollyoaks, Tony has not learnt that when you take someone back to your humble abode, the repercussions are enormous.

But we can’t wait for them!

Steph and Tom are back from their trip away (the ‘Oaks characters seem to have these ‘trips away’ but no-one really ever knows where they jet off to. Nancy is on her very own one right now…) and Cindy and Mandy (previously part of the Barbie-posse) aren’t too thrilled.

Neither is McQueen gang-leader, Myra. In a confrontational one-on-one toned down (it IS 6.30 after all) ‘conversation’ between Steph and the (Mc)Queen-bee, some very good points are made. (Someone has been watching their Kyle)

(M) ‘If you hadn’t left him, this wouldn’t have happened’

(S) ‘My conscience is clear’

(M) ‘The girlfriend always knows’

(S) ‘So does the mother’

Cutting, yet Steph cuts straight to the chase. The ‘Oaks has the amazing ability of teaching lessons that really hit home, whilst being incredibly entertaining.

Educational, yet fun.

And mentioning the ‘F’ word, the Nevilles have a whole load of fun in store for them on the opening night of The Jolly Roger.

Advertised in The Chester Herald, The Jolly Roger’s opening night is exposed as a gay pub. Neville and Suzanne are thrilled with the turnout. Rhys is not as pleased – he had hoped that the opening night would be a taster for a women-filled future. In his dreams. Hannah is the only one on the end of the flirting stick this evening.

Will The Jolly Roger end up being the first gay pub in the vill-age?

And as this episode of drunken fun and female confrontations draws to a close, we have our first glimpse of what is to come in Hollyoaks Later…

Nasty Niall is back and hooded…