Creeping up on us like a semi-Scouse ninja, Hollyoaks has silently yet fatally kicked its other soap contenders to the ground. In these debt-ridden, credit-stricken times it has provided the escapism and drama of Sense and Sensibility starring Jeremy Kyle.
With more wit that Wilde, more romance than Bronte, more suspense than Grisham, and more flavours than Ramsay (Il Gnosh), the ‘Oaks serves us more entertaining drama than any village in Cheshire should fairly have.
Hollyoaks hit our screens in 1995, catapulting us into the outskirts of Chester. Only now, people are catching up with stalwart Tony and me. Our relationship has been through its ups and downs but after thirteen years we’re still going strong.
Finally, Hollyoaks has made it Big.
Don’t just take my word for it, even The Times has picked up on the wonders of this fine piece of British broadcasting.
I feel uniquely qualified to comment and pass judgement on the characters. Without exaggeration, the ‘Oaks has shaped my life. I frequently find myself as Agony Aunt to friends and acquaintances of mine, relating real life (AS IF Hollyoaks is not real life) situations to those experienced by my dear friends Dawn and Jambo, Mandy and Tony, and Carmel and Calvin.
After dedication equalling that of an relaxed tea-drinking Olympic Athlete, the time has now come for me to share my ‘Oaks wisdom with those who have also come under the spell of the Hollyoaks wand.
Let us begin.
