Chavtastic or Hitting the Nail on the Head?

It is often difficult to tell whether Hollyoaks Jacqui McQueen’s fashion sense is totally chavtastic or whether she has hit the nail on the head with the current fashion trends.

The beginning of tonight’s E4 episode (7.00pm, to be shown at 6.30pm tomorrow on Channel 4) demonstrated the latter for our dear Jacqs.

She has certainly been following the latest high-street brands and has adopted an off-the-shoulder tee with the face of a tiger on the front.

Want to deny your natural instinct and copy fierce Jacqui’s style? You can get a black t-shirt with gold tiger face from Topshop, just click here.

Coming soon… Hollyoaks Review 2008

If you are new to both Hollyoaks and The Hollyoaks Herald, and are somewhat confused by the mysterious yet wonderful storylines that you are viewing on your television screen between 6.30 and 7pm (c4) or 7 and 7.30pm (e4)  every weekday, DO NOT FEAR, DO NOT PANIC.

Coming soon to The Hollyoaks Herald is a review of Hollyoaks 2008 to get you up to scratch on your favourite girls and guys of the Hollyoaks gang.

And if you want to know more about The Hollyoaks Herald, click here, to find out what it is all about.

If you are still longing for and dying for The Hollyoaks Herald podcast, stay glued to those computer screens, the technologically-minded folk from the HH are putting the final touches to it…

Keep it The Hollyoaks Herald.

Secrets Uncovered

Wednesday 21st January 2009

In an episode where the major Hollyoaks storylines of the first quarter of this year are outlined, we are thankful that it makes up for Monday’s (19.01.09) nicey-nice episode…

Nasty Nige is BACK… Calvin did not kill him when he used self-defence on him after drug-dealing Nige stabbed him in his arm.

Warren had convinced us all that he had been killed. (Although, this does open a can of worms… where did Warren hide the body? Why did Calvin not want proof of Nige’s death? Why did Calvin not tell the police and plead self-defence?)

But Nige makes a surprise appearance at The Loft. Whilst Calvin is looking after Warren’s kid bro (Spencer), Warren warns Nige to back off, revealing that he had told Nige to stay away and that if he does come back he will ensure that Nige does end up dead.

Got to love the Hollyoaks-threats.

Meanwhile, tagged-up Darren has been given some responsibility by step-sis Steph to look after Mob’s (juice bar) and count the cash.

In a brief period of desperation Darren nips up to Warren’s flat to ask for money (£5000 to be exact) to get him back on his feet. Little naive Warren tries to blackmail Warren into giving him some cash, threatening to tell everyone about their deal earlier in the year and the death of Sean (see the review of Hollyoaks 2008 for more details).

But we know Warren’s capabilities. And so should Darren. 

Darren leaves with his tail between his legs and upon locking and cashing up from Mob’s, he gets mugged – beaten up and the money stolen. 

We have a little taste of the mugger – jeans, timberland boots… who wears those in Hollyoaks…?

Steph wants to go to the police, but Darren doesn’t want the hassle – let’s take a moment here.

Darren doesn’t want the hassle? He has just been beaten up, and the day’s takings have been stolen, but yet he won’t got to the police…

… and run the risk of Steph thinking he took the money

Which is exactly what she does think. Darren is kicked out. It is hard to feel sorry for him

Where will Darren go? Will Nige return? Will Calvin come back? Is the Warren/Sean/Darren/Jake storyline going to re-emerge in 2009? And did Malachy mug Darren?

So many questions. And we have a whole year for the Hollyoaks team to string out the answers.

A Lesson in Dressing…

Monday 19th January 2009

Well into the New Year and the emergence of new story lines in our beloved Hollyoaks are well under way. But yet again, no hints of big story lines to come have been suggested.

Warren is struggling with his patience as he continues to try to look after his foster brother Spencer. Mercedes and Malachy (otherwise known to us as ‘Double M’) find themselves without a home and … the gambling Darren is out of prison and into the arms of gold-digger Cindy.

Darren is out of prison with only the clothes on his back (ironically, a suit?) and a plastic bag of everything near and dear to him. He has no choice but to hit the flat where the Cunningham and Dean left-overs and all their hanger-ons are managing to co-habit.

Steph has ordered a bed for Darren but it hasn’t arrived so he will have to make do with a mattress on Newt’s bedroom floor.

How many rooms does this flat have? It seems that it can accommodate as many or as few people as possible, growing or shrinking in size according to the people-menu, giving the impression of an M.C. Escher design.

In an attempt to make Darren feel as comfortable as possible, Cindy gets him out of his fairly respectable suit and ‘re-chavs‘ him.

Silver shoe boots, gold chains, fur collared jacket, sunglasses (indoors??) – this is your lesson is chav-dressing. The Hollyoaks writers have managed to teach their viewers how to chav-it-up in merely a few shots. Smashing television.

This image is only slightly ruined by the fitting of Darren’s electronic tag. The HH isn’t overly concerned – Cindy will be able to disguise it with some Chav-bling in no time. 

 Double M have been given their final (and perhaps only?) warning by the HCC Halls staff (as a result of an anonymous e-mail from… Kris?) to move out of Kris and Elliot’s flat.

This is actually the ONLY flat that HCC has for its students. In years, any new student moves into this student flat which is like Steph’s flat in many ways – the numerous bedrooms and the amount of people (it’s Escher design) being the main similarity.

What can we say? Hollyoaks fans like familiarity.

In the first scene in which we see Double M cuddled up on a sofa, receiving scowls from Elliot, but WAIT!!

The first half of Double M (Mercedes) seems to have intriguingly shiny legs. Is she wearing… tights? Underneath her short and skimpy pyjamas? 

Has Hollyoaks sunk to a new low? Trying to cheat our well-trained Hollyoaks eyes that their gorgeous, lean, and tanned cast actually wear TIGHTS in order to look totally fabulous.

We shake our Hollyoaks-filled heads in disappointment.

Resident baddie/goodie (still undecided, one good deed is followed by a bad, and so the cycle continues) Warren struggles to look after and keep his cool with foster bro Spencer.

Throwing money at the issue is the Warren-way to deal with any situation. We are used to is. Spencer, not so much. 

Calvin tries to diffuse the situation and offer his latest best bud (Warren) any help he needs.

But all Warren needs to do is be a big brother to Spencer. perhaps Warren has been burned by the effect his big brother role had on lil sis, Katy.

Warren and Spencer have a big heart to heart – only after Spencer cut himself, trying to slice some bread.

The Hollyoaks Herald hopes that this episode does not set the standard for the year to come, otherwise 6.30-7.00pm weekdays will become nap-time for many Hollyoaks fans.